[Story] Diary Of A Lekki Houseboy (18+) Season 5 Episode 9

“Guy! You nor go church? Abeg, what is the name of that

Aphrodisiac you guys used in that party?”.. I codedly said into

the phone as Asamoah picked his phone. I decided to call him

after I left Joyce’s room and was having some scroootal pains..

Like it felt like my sacks were shrinking due to over stress .

After laughing, he laughed again .. asked why I called for the

Disiac.. Told him a friend of mine needed it and I also wanted to

have a sip as some girl were visiting me.

He laughed again and told me he would supply me, that its

somehow illegal but for me, he go soji. We then talked about

Abigail and how she ended up in his house the other day when

she was supposed to be at The Palms(Cinemas). Turns out

neither Esther nor Abiagil went to their supposed cinemas, Esther

visited a Friend, and Abigail visited Asamoah )

I wasn’t shocked.. I just smiled and had a sigh of relief as the

house was filled with promiscuity, especially when Asamoah

said “Charly!! That girl don Boom oh.. No need to invest, na just

to dey reap interests” . I knew what that meant, it was a two

way thing, either he bleeped faith, or he almost did .

The people that went to church came back as I opened the gate

for them. When they got down(My Uncle still in his the car), Faith

gave me a hug and said “You smell funny..

Don’t tell me its what

am thinking!”.

Ok, this statement was killing! Coupled with the Hug which was

obviously strange(at least to Esther n Abigail ).. I felt like My

end was near because my hands truly smelled of Joyce’s Lotion

and I wasn’t expecting all the hugging.. Inshort, I was

expecting her to keep the “Do I Know You” face her sisters keep..

But who sigh!!!

“Ummm.. It is?”.. I asked as I still tried shielding the hug away

so Esther and Abigail won’t suspect anything. Damn! I was

confused as hell!!!

“Yeahp! You haven’t bathed?”.. She said with a smiley face..

“Ahahahaha! Mumu.. You nor even get nose? Na ur sister smell

dey my body nah.. Olodo!!!!!”…

.. My Mind said out loud.. Inside.. As it was so happy she

was thinking what I wasn’t thinking .

“Yeah.. Remember you made Aunty ground me? So what’s the

need to bath?”.. I said(relieved) as they set to enter the house. I

asked Esther how the service was but didn’t get a reply, so I just

focused on my Faith . I waited for Uncle to come down,

exchanged greetings and he told me to display my talents(Wash

Car) . *

It was afternoon already, and I got frustrated by the girls as all

efforts made to watch EPL sunday fixtures were to no avail. All

thanks to “Keeping Up With The Kardeshians “.. So I resulted

into chatting on whatsapp with Faith who was sitting closed to

me in the sitting room. Each message sent or received was

accompanied with smiles and stares as it was much more than

the EPL games .

“Charly.. GIG dey today oh! For Kings Lounge, Opposite crown

Estate., time is 8pm.. Come with a Booze, no Baron Romero and

other cheap shii allowed sha.. And I go kill if *some texts


^^I saw the text above after I opened the message Asamoah sent,

at about 4pm. “Another party? Omo! I must go alone this time, no

shiii!”.. My mind said as I jumped up to go look for what to wear,

leaving Faith startled as I didn’t tell her I was going to stand up

I was pressing my shirt when Faith sneaked in on me and asked

where I was Off to.. Told her I was going to a party and asked if

she would wanna go (for my mind, I pray make she say no!!)..

“Dummy.. I don’t go to parties”.. She said.

Now this was somehow twisted right? Like a saying for the sake

of saying?


Me: Tah!!!!, Mummy u can lie!!

Faith: Yeah! Shocking? I was in that party because I got to hang

out with you.. Nothing else.. *she was now looking at me*..

Besides, I wouldn’t want your hands in my cramps.

Now, the Ironing stand was in the lobby, Just beside Esther’s

door.. And just like a Fish out of the sea, Esther came out and

said “Faith, You gat time? I need your help inside”.. Like couldn’t

she just let me enjoy the Euphoria I was lost in? As in.. She was

in the party because of me .. Chimo!!!

This wasn’t fun at all!.. All I prayed for was for Esther not to tell

faith anything that will spoil my Image, especially when Faith

looked at me with a “What does she want look”.. I tried

eavesdropping, but didn’t hear them say anything. Just laugh

and talks I will pass for whispers(or murmurs?). At this point, my

heart was beating hard.. Like what was I even afraid of?

Abigail wanted to Iron a shirt of hers, seems she said something

about following me to the party(explains why Asamoah so

wanted me there ).. But with the curiosity I had concerning

Esther n Faith, I told her I would help her Press the clothes(As

in.. Who for press am before? Nor be me? )..

Finished pressing the shirt but for where? I kept on pressing..

Whatever they were doing was taking too much time and it was

getting my guilty conscience stressed up..

“Guy! You better act fast.. Dey do like Olodo”.. My mind said.

Unto say the shirt wey I dey Iron don dey beg for mercy, I

gathered courage, knocked the Door and said “Esther, you wanna

press some clothes?” .. I wished I never asked .

They finally came out of the room as I found myself staring at the

door from the moment the Door Handle moved .

“Arrrrgh! Baba, you see yourself? You almost died of anyhow

failure I swear!!!”..

My mind said as my eyes saw Faith smiling and calling Esther a

useless kid of a senior(jokingly) and Esther….Chai!


…… She came out with clothes (Nor be me ask if

she get clothes to Iron? ).

“Mahmah, Please don’t kill my Boo”.. Faith said to Esther. This

gave me a shocker as I looked towards the direction of Esther,

she smiled and said “For your mind shey?” ..

Please wake me up!!!! ..

Well, I pressed the clothes as I thought of what happened some

minutes back. Then I concluded Faith told her She and I were

dating, which to me was strange because I never even toast am

(Lol! I grew up in a hood where you don’t only toast girls, u

wait for 2weeks to get a reply.. Chai! No blame me ).

On returning the clothes, Esther was lying down on her Bed(Bum

Shorts) and immediately she saw me, she stood up and switched

her face from the normal “Do I Know you” face to “I missed you”

face. I tried avoiding her as I dropped the clothes on her bed,

headed straight to the door but she said “Hmmm.. Shouldn’t I be

thanked for not telling my sister you are a Perrrv?”.. *Y’all know

counter exchange of words are my favorite nah .. Watch me

kill dis girl’s morale *


Me: Coming from a girl that thanked me for not telling her sister

(Joyce) secrets.. Then I need to thank her. (As I turned back to

look at her).

Esther: Nawti Boy, I owe you as much as you owe me remember?

(Damn that smile!!!! )

Me: Yeah! I owe you a Gee, and you own me.. Ummm! What?

Esther: A Thank You? (With a ” ” face)

She told me how soft Faith was and how she loves her and

wouldn’t want me to Hurt her (story).. That Faith’s last

heartbreak(which was her first) was from a dude who later dated

her Bestie(Yeah! That yeye Ken), saying how depressed she got

and all bullsheettt. But all she said afterwards were so

strange!!.. Like Jeez, She is having an affair with Uncle Daniel

(Married to her Sister) and hell I could tell she wanted more of

ME(single but Dating her Sister))..

“Guy.. No think am! I never wan die abeg!”.. My D*I*C*K

shouted as I saw the lust in her eyes,,

She stood up and tried touching me but I was not just in the

mood.. So I told her I didn’t unplug the Pressing Iron, left the

room as she giggled and said “Don’t forget we owe ourselves


“Are You and faith Having a fling?”.. Abigail asked in a manner I

would pass for the expression on my Mom’s face when my hands

got burnt by the hot pot of soup few years back .. Yeah!

Your boy was trying to Take a Meat without Full authority

(Not stealing oh!!!)

After we got permission to go to the party from Joyce(like she

lifted up my supposed Grounding ), we decided we would walk

to the Venue as it was just 5minutes from the Estate gate, so we

were just gisting on random things(she always talks about s*x!!!!

Chai!!!) On our way. Hence, the reason why she could ask that

question. Oh! I stole(or took without authority) a bottle of

Henessy Cognac with the help of Abigail from the mini bar in the

sitting room.

“Umm.. A fling? “.. I answered with a shocked but ironed face


“Ehen.. Don’t even try it.. The stares, the Laughs when you too

chats on whatsapp in the sitting room, the calls.. Have you

forgotten we sleep in the same room?”.. She said and I swear! I

didn’t see any Jealousy in her eyes.

I was just smiling like Joker after she finished all she said as it

was boldly written on the bricks I was walking on that I can’t

deny the fact that she knows whatsup. So I had to look for a way

to swerve the topic.. Aint no guy got time for shii right?

“Ehehehe! I guess she isn’t that good in hiding things… Unlike

you that have been hiding the Asamoah thingy from me”.. I said

in an attempt to switch the topic.

She laughed and started saying how Asamoah thinks he is smart

and all others. That she just wants to have fun while the holiday

last, and Asamoah was her only ticket as Me and other guys in

the hood acts local . And I must confess, I was woooowed to

notice she didn’t even acted like she and I b@nged some few

days back, like she even said “We cool right? Just friends with


Got to the party at exactly 8:30pm and within the 20mins we

spent on the road(trekking), Faith already called me Three

times.. Telling me she misses me aiidy ..

Nothing really special happened in the party as there were more

Boys than girls.. So I just sat down, closed to the DJ(Tobby

again) as we watch things unfold. It was an end of Year party

organized by some rich kids that lived around the hood and it

was shocking to see the Ratio of boys to girls at 70:30.

“This Party Dry!.. Aint no girl to ball with mehn..”.. I said into

Tobby’s ear who was holding a Red Cup in his hands..

“The girls got scared after most of them believed they were

drugged at the last party nah”.. He shouted into my hears.

This lead to him telling me how he also drank from the Dispenser

and almost killed YVONNE who definitely was also having

the effects on her. He told me it was deliberately done by the

Druids as it was a tradition, Turning humans into DOGS .(So

na him eat the soup wey I prepare that day? )

His mouth wasn’t that smelly, even though he kept on sipping the

drink on the Red Cup, so I asked what was it he was drinking. He

said “Cough Syrrup”.. Now that was shocking to me because he

didn’t have cough, I asked if he had cough .. Na so my Guy

start to dey laugh me oh!!!! *Abeg, na crime to ask?

Sheewwww *

He laughed to the extent that he started coughing(literally)

and I just stood there feeling like someone that’s feeling

something. Then he walked up to a room where I submitted my

“stolen” Henessy Cognac, came back with a red cup and gave it

to me to drink..

To be continued…. 

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