“Guy! You nor go church? Abeg, what is the name of that
Aphrodisiac you guys used in that party?”.. I codedly said into
the phone as Asamoah picked his phone. I decided to call him
after I left Joyce’s room and was having some scroootal pains..
Like it felt like my sacks were shrinking due to over stress .
After laughing, he laughed again .. asked why I called for the
Disiac.. Told him a friend of mine needed it and I also wanted to
have a sip as some girl were visiting me.
He laughed again and told me he would supply me, that its
somehow illegal but for me, he go soji. We then talked about
Abigail and how she ended up in his house the other day when
she was supposed to be at The Palms(Cinemas). Turns out
neither Esther nor Abiagil went to their supposed cinemas, Esther
visited a Friend, and Abigail visited Asamoah )
I wasn’t shocked.. I just smiled and had a sigh of relief as the
house was filled with promiscuity, especially when Asamoah
said “Charly!! That girl don Boom oh.. No need to invest, na just
to dey reap interests” . I knew what that meant, it was a two
way thing, either he bleeped faith, or he almost did .
The people that went to church came back as I opened the gate
for them. When they got down(My Uncle still in his the car), Faith
gave me a hug and said “You smell funny..
Don’t tell me its what
Ok, this statement was killing! Coupled with the Hug which was
obviously strange(at least to Esther n Abigail ).. I felt like My
end was near because my hands truly smelled of Joyce’s Lotion
and I wasn’t expecting all the hugging.. Inshort, I was
expecting her to keep the “Do I Know You” face her sisters keep..
But who sigh!!!
“Ummm.. It is?”.. I asked as I still tried shielding the hug away
so Esther and Abigail won’t suspect anything. Damn! I was
confused as hell!!!
“Yeahp! You haven’t bathed?”.. She said with a smiley face..
“Ahahahaha! Mumu.. You nor even get nose? Na ur sister smell
dey my body nah.. Olodo!!!!!”…
.. My Mind said out loud.. Inside.. As it was so happy she
was thinking what I wasn’t thinking .
“Yeah.. Remember you made Aunty ground me? So what’s the
need to bath?”.. I said(relieved) as they set to enter the house. I
asked Esther how the service was but didn’t get a reply, so I just
focused on my Faith . I waited for Uncle to come down,
exchanged greetings and he told me to display my talents(Wash
Car) . *
It was afternoon already, and I got frustrated by the girls as all
efforts made to watch EPL sunday fixtures were to no avail. All
thanks to “Keeping Up With The Kardeshians “.. So I resulted
into chatting on whatsapp with Faith who was sitting closed to
me in the sitting room. Each message sent or received was
accompanied with smiles and stares as it was much more than
the EPL games .
“Charly.. GIG dey today oh! For Kings Lounge, Opposite crown
Estate., time is 8pm.. Come with a Booze, no Baron Romero and
other cheap shii allowed sha.. And I go kill if *some texts
^^I saw the text above after I opened the message Asamoah sent,
at about 4pm. “Another party? Omo! I must go alone this time, no
shiii!”.. My mind said as I jumped up to go look for what to wear,
leaving Faith startled as I didn’t tell her I was going to stand up
I was pressing my shirt when Faith sneaked in on me and asked
where I was Off to.. Told her I was going to a party and asked if
she would wanna go (for my mind, I pray make she say no!!)..
“Dummy.. I don’t go to parties”.. She said.
Now this was somehow twisted right? Like a saying for the sake
Me: Tah!!!!, Mummy u can lie!!
Faith: Yeah! Shocking? I was in that party because I got to hang
out with you.. Nothing else.. *she was now looking at me*..
Besides, I wouldn’t want your hands in my cramps.
Now, the Ironing stand was in the lobby, Just beside Esther’s
door.. And just like a Fish out of the sea, Esther came out and
said “Faith, You gat time? I need your help inside”.. Like couldn’t
she just let me enjoy the Euphoria I was lost in? As in.. She was
in the party because of me .. Chimo!!!
This wasn’t fun at all!.. All I prayed for was for Esther not to tell
faith anything that will spoil my Image, especially when Faith
looked at me with a “What does she want look”.. I tried
eavesdropping, but didn’t hear them say anything. Just laugh
and talks I will pass for whispers(or murmurs?). At this point, my
heart was beating hard.. Like what was I even afraid of?
Abigail wanted to Iron a shirt of hers, seems she said something
about following me to the party(explains why Asamoah so
wanted me there ).. But with the curiosity I had concerning
Esther n Faith, I told her I would help her Press the clothes(As
in.. Who for press am before? Nor be me? )..
Finished pressing the shirt but for where? I kept on pressing..
Whatever they were doing was taking too much time and it was
getting my guilty conscience stressed up..
“Guy! You better act fast.. Dey do like Olodo”.. My mind said.
Unto say the shirt wey I dey Iron don dey beg for mercy, I
gathered courage, knocked the Door and said “Esther, you wanna
press some clothes?” .. I wished I never asked .
They finally came out of the room as I found myself staring at the
door from the moment the Door Handle moved .
“Arrrrgh! Baba, you see yourself? You almost died of anyhow
failure I swear!!!”..
My mind said as my eyes saw Faith smiling and calling Esther a
useless kid of a senior(jokingly) and Esther….Chai!
…… She came out with clothes (Nor be me ask if
she get clothes to Iron? ).
“Mahmah, Please don’t kill my Boo”.. Faith said to Esther. This
gave me a shocker as I looked towards the direction of Esther,
she smiled and said “For your mind shey?” ..
Please wake me up!!!! ..
Well, I pressed the clothes as I thought of what happened some
minutes back. Then I concluded Faith told her She and I were
dating, which to me was strange because I never even toast am
(Lol! I grew up in a hood where you don’t only toast girls, u
wait for 2weeks to get a reply.. Chai! No blame me ).
On returning the clothes, Esther was lying down on her Bed(Bum
Shorts) and immediately she saw me, she stood up and switched
her face from the normal “Do I Know you” face to “I missed you”
face. I tried avoiding her as I dropped the clothes on her bed,
headed straight to the door but she said “Hmmm.. Shouldn’t I be
thanked for not telling my sister you are a Perrrv?”.. *Y’all know
counter exchange of words are my favorite nah .. Watch me
kill dis girl’s morale *
Me: Coming from a girl that thanked me for not telling her sister
(Joyce) secrets.. Then I need to thank her. (As I turned back to
look at her).
Esther: Nawti Boy, I owe you as much as you owe me remember?
(Damn that smile!!!! )
Me: Yeah! I owe you a Gee, and you own me.. Ummm! What?
Esther: A Thank You? (With a ” ” face)
She told me how soft Faith was and how she loves her and
wouldn’t want me to Hurt her (story).. That Faith’s last
heartbreak(which was her first) was from a dude who later dated
her Bestie(Yeah! That yeye Ken), saying how depressed she got
and all bullsheettt. But all she said afterwards were so
strange!!.. Like Jeez, She is having an affair with Uncle Daniel
(Married to her Sister) and hell I could tell she wanted more of
ME(single but Dating her Sister))..
“Guy.. No think am! I never wan die abeg!”.. My D*I*C*K
shouted as I saw the lust in her eyes,,
She stood up and tried touching me but I was not just in the
mood.. So I told her I didn’t unplug the Pressing Iron, left the
room as she giggled and said “Don’t forget we owe ourselves
“Are You and faith Having a fling?”.. Abigail asked in a manner I
would pass for the expression on my Mom’s face when my hands
got burnt by the hot pot of soup few years back .. Yeah!
Your boy was trying to Take a Meat without Full authority
(Not stealing oh!!!)
After we got permission to go to the party from Joyce(like she
lifted up my supposed Grounding ), we decided we would walk
to the Venue as it was just 5minutes from the Estate gate, so we
were just gisting on random things(she always talks about s*x!!!!
Chai!!!) On our way. Hence, the reason why she could ask that
question. Oh! I stole(or took without authority) a bottle of
Henessy Cognac with the help of Abigail from the mini bar in the
“Umm.. A fling? “.. I answered with a shocked but ironed face
“Ehen.. Don’t even try it.. The stares, the Laughs when you too
chats on whatsapp in the sitting room, the calls.. Have you
forgotten we sleep in the same room?”.. She said and I swear! I
didn’t see any Jealousy in her eyes.
I was just smiling like Joker after she finished all she said as it
was boldly written on the bricks I was walking on that I can’t
deny the fact that she knows whatsup. So I had to look for a way
to swerve the topic.. Aint no guy got time for shii right?
“Ehehehe! I guess she isn’t that good in hiding things… Unlike
you that have been hiding the Asamoah thingy from me”.. I said
in an attempt to switch the topic.
She laughed and started saying how Asamoah thinks he is smart
and all others. That she just wants to have fun while the holiday
last, and Asamoah was her only ticket as Me and other guys in
the hood acts local . And I must confess, I was woooowed to
notice she didn’t even acted like she and I b@nged some few
days back, like she even said “We cool right? Just friends with
Got to the party at exactly 8:30pm and within the 20mins we
spent on the road(trekking), Faith already called me Three
times.. Telling me she misses me aiidy ..
Nothing really special happened in the party as there were more
Boys than girls.. So I just sat down, closed to the DJ(Tobby
again) as we watch things unfold. It was an end of Year party
organized by some rich kids that lived around the hood and it
was shocking to see the Ratio of boys to girls at 70:30.
“This Party Dry!.. Aint no girl to ball with mehn..”.. I said into
Tobby’s ear who was holding a Red Cup in his hands..
“The girls got scared after most of them believed they were
drugged at the last party nah”.. He shouted into my hears.
This lead to him telling me how he also drank from the Dispenser
and almost killed YVONNE who definitely was also having
the effects on her. He told me it was deliberately done by the
Druids as it was a tradition, Turning humans into DOGS .(So
na him eat the soup wey I prepare that day? )
His mouth wasn’t that smelly, even though he kept on sipping the
drink on the Red Cup, so I asked what was it he was drinking. He
said “Cough Syrrup”.. Now that was shocking to me because he
didn’t have cough, I asked if he had cough .. Na so my Guy
start to dey laugh me oh!!!! *Abeg, na crime to ask?
He laughed to the extent that he started coughing(literally)
and I just stood there feeling like someone that’s feeling
something. Then he walked up to a room where I submitted my
“stolen” Henessy Cognac, came back with a red cup and gave it
to me to drink..
To be continued….