The next day, as usual i was the first teacher to be in sch. As i was writing my boring lesson note, a student came, “good morning sir” Mosun a JSS2 girl greeted, “Mosun, how are u” i said “fine sir, sir i want to ask u a question” she added. “what is it, ask am all ears” i said curiously. “ehnn Sir i heard my elder brother talking to someone on phone about something he called C*ondom, sir what is a C*ondom?” she asked. “ehn ehn Mosun u see C*ondon is ehn ehn an ingredient they use to spicen up fried rice, maybe ur brother wanted the person to cook him fried rice” that lie came out of my mouth too fast. “i don lie for this small girl oh, but why she wan know wetin c*ondom be na, why she no ask her elder brother, na my mouth she wan hear say Pope no be V*irgin abi” i tot as i saw her leave happily.
Soon it was evening, i was at home smoking with Angom and Ilorin as usual. “Angom, if u see sugarmummy wey like u, u go date her?” i asked Angom. “Flow u don see sugarmummy?” Ilorin asked what made me angry, “yes na, i don see, na ur Mama na” i said, “Flow make u no dey talk about my Mama like dat oh, sha if u want make my Mama b ur sugarmummy u go die go meet her for grave be that” Ilorin fired at me “na u go die” i fired back. “Angom abeg answer my question jor, no mind dis mumu Ofemmanu boy” i said. “Flow, forget oh i go rush any sugarmummy wey come oh, abi u like as we dey drink garri everyday? u go gain plenty things from sugarmummy oh” Angom said. “u go gain plenty things but u go dey do her well well oh” i added. “Yes u go do her well well na, abi u no sabi do?” Ilorin asked me, “u dey mad, u wey only 2 rounds u go dey breathe like person wey run hundred metres for Olmpics” i said, “i do pass u abeg” Ilorin responded. I got to my room that night, as i was about sleeping, i tot of calling my “newly found love” a.k.a Ikebe super. “make i call her, make i no call her, make i call her, make i no call her, make i call her” i tot, “i go call her abeg” i concluded